- Jun 26, 2019
That was not what I was thinking, much less suggesting, at all(!) I really meant "expressing solidarity"--and that if *you* as a former model and current mentor to young models empathize with Bella, maybe the rest of us, should, as well.i want to make it extremely clear with you that me posting the above images has 0 to do with how I feel about Bella in this situation.
Bella plays such a minor role
I don't think she's "responsible" for Razek's behavior or the culture at VS. And I actually agree that the conversation is about much more than a single Hadid (and think we should probably be having it in the VS thread). I dwell on her here becauseIn your post you seem to suggest that Bella, because she never spoke out despite her wealth and apparent power, means she is also somehow partly responsible.
seeing them every year after a show thanking Ed Razek like it was a God and then being part of the Me too movement defending the industry & photographers saying that harassment has never happened, is really fucked up
Yes, and yes. (My only quibble being that "disingenuous" isn't strong enough for me.)Do I think that Bella had the power/energy/will to speak up and challenge Ed in the moment? Not necessarily. But it is disingenuous of her to be praising Ed/VS after the fact, assuming she wasn't ok with Ed's actions.
Not in the fashion/entertainment industries by any stretch, but umm, maybe I actually really, really do.You have absolutely no idea what it’s like to work hard every day of your career to reach a certain point.
And once you get there, you find out the only way to keep your spot is to not only sleep with the man who holds your job in his hands but to live with him?
If this is a rarity in the fashion industry (and I honestly wouldn't know), then it's a less misogynistic one than mine.People had been fired for speaking out against him.
I've been touched in ways I didn't want in work settings; been aggressively propositioned; had meetings over the course of months focus on my availability as a woman (and whether it was negotiable) rather than the project at hand; and in short, countless nasty carrot-and-stick scenarios I really, really ridiculously could have done without. I've known more than a few girls, less bristly and pugnacious than I am (ie, more "docile" victims, and I am *not* blaming the victims here), who have experienced far worse.
We have collectively lost probably decades of our lives anguishing over whom to tell and how. The male colleague/friend who espouses "ally" views, but is much too junior (and inexperienced in these politics) to offer anything useful, much less stick his neck out? The mentor, who makes a point of taking care of his charges, but actually wants certain money projects done--and is also less senior than the famous aggressor? The boyfriend, who of all people should be an ally--but is also pathologically jealous and could just fly into a rage instead? Fellow females, who can do no more than commiserate?
I am thankful every day that my fledgling days--the times when I was the most vulnerable--are now behind me.
I respect your views. I sometimes get told IRL that I am unreasonably tolerant, or unduly resigned to a certain ("unacceptable") status quo; probably it has something to do with growing up in a world where domestic violence is about as common as dog ownership, and having rather conservative views about what women should be OK with. I've even been told by everyone around me--including the dude himself, when clear-headed--that my boyfriend was abusive...and honestly just thought everything unpleasant was par for the course, given all that I had witnessed around me growing up. I confess I'm quite flummoxed by the recent Western conversation on "toxic masculinity". Speaking of which,This simply should never be okay. Ever. This is the culture they are calling out.
This kind of behaviour should be called out in any industry.
I was not able to find a rigorous definition of the term (if one even exists). I gather that it means certain patterns of behavior that are part of the fabric of the culture in question--something that is "matter of fact" when discussing the culture, not that it is to be trivialized."casual sexism"
I respect the women who do that, and then--long after they need them for career advancement--publicly stand up for those men when they're about to be destroyed in a #metoo furor. They exist, and that's integrity.Yeah, I see people sleeping with others to up their career, and if it’s their choice then fine I guess.
What, then, of all the execs and other senior people at VS? Was shrugging off these sorts of attitudes and behaviors towards women really not typical of the (industry) culture? Did someone risk their job to say "enough is enough" when a girl came to them with a particularly bad story? How many people paid lip service to the idea of protecting girls, but in reality treated a girl's complaints as above all an inconvenience to the business?
As is hopefully clear from above in my post, those examples are hardly theoretical to me. My issue with focusing so much on Razek--and I suppose it wasn't clear from my earlier discussion--is that he is ("merely") a product or symptom of his times and culture. To home in on him as some unique evildoer misses the point IMO. If we want to have a productive conversation about these things, we need to understand exactly what has been tolerated in the industry (or at least the company, as a specific entity within it), and how and why--which also requires an examination of (institutional as well as personal) power dynamics.This. This is the problem. As I have stated already in previous posts, it’s the corporate culture (or yes, industry culture) at VS that allowed Razek’s behaviour to continue for so long. They’re just as responsible as him IMO.
@SugarFree it does not escape me that you seem to be one of the nicer/gentler VIP's around here, and that it takes probably more than a little to offend you. I am sorry if you felt that by the ways in which I speak about Bella or Razek, I am disrespecting your experiences or those of other models. I've indicated that I may yet change my mind about her actions. In the meantime, I would also like to say that your presuppositions about what I have or have not endured in my professional life are inaccurate, and that I did not appreciate them. I hope we can agree to disagree without jabs at conjectured limitations of the other person's life experiences and thus perspective.