I’ve been on MPA for years now and I honestly think that it lead me to believing I had a disorder when I really never did and
that was more harmful and confusing to me than my eating itself.
MPA is pretty solidly separated into two halves: butterflies and people who genuinely suffer from ED’s that have often consumed their lives. The two mostly stay in their own sections of the forum and when a “butterfly wanna-rexic” asks for diet tips in enemy territory, they’re told how awful ED’s are.
I was never the butterfly type; I didn’t
want to be self-destructive, and so I thought that because I already was restricting as just part of my life, I must just have an ED even though I was perfectly healthy and happy overall. Restriction never negatively impacted my life but MPA has me believe that it inherently must have somehow. This led to a lot of inner conflict and confusion about which of my thoughts are rational and which aren’t, when really fucked with me for a while.
Finding this community seriously helps me embrace living in the way that feels most authentic to me: that is, by pursuing and maintaining a thin body, for aesthetic purposes. Is it shallow to care so much about aesthetics? I literally don’t care; it’s what feels right to me. I really can’t thank FT and TB enough for making this place possible, and everyone else for being so inspiring and helping me make sense of myself.
Also, if anyone’s curious, MPA screenshots of the rejected member in question. Seems pretty boring, nothing that hasn’t been said before. Title of the thread is “lol...my username was to ‘proana’ for skinnygossip.” I’d include the rest of the thread but honestly it’s entirely covered by
@Ellie ‘s bingo.
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