Shmegeh (Michelle Alessandra)

amincer

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I am familiar with/read her blog. From my perspective:
She is very ill and clearly knows she is ill, but doesn't promote it at all. She really doesn't tolerate any kind of silliness in the sense of wanas, and I've never seen her claim to eat healthy- or really even talk about food.

if you're interested here is her response to a question concerning her opinion on her weight.
 
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maell

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I just love her!
You girls should really read more of her blog, not just look at the pictures.
She obviously is sick, she knows it and it's something she doesn't really talk about.

But she's also very smart, intelligent person who runs a very interesting blog (even for those not that much into anime etc.). And I just love how articulate she is :luv:
 

Apple

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I am familiar with/read her blog. From my perspective:
She is very ill and clearly knows she is ill, but doesn't promote it at all. She really doesn't tolerate any kind of silliness in the sense of wanas, and I've never seen her claim to eat healthy- or really even talk about food.

if you're interested here is her response to a question concerning her opinion on her weight.
^^^ :highfive:

I actually don't follow her anymore since her deteriorating health was getting to me, but I love her models section and reblog from her often.

If you go back in her archive to the beginning you can literally watch her shrink. From the beginning (2-3 years ago) when people asked her about how she was losing weight, she would say it was a private matter and that her way was not healthy and to please not do anything extreme.

In the past she was also more direct in answering questions about her ED. Now she won't even admit to or truly answer questions about it, but she has.

sorry to be judgemental, but imo there is no way this girl is healthy. she looks really ill. and she knows it. and she wants it that way. she's apparantly a cutter too. do we have another Felice here?
wow, her skin color is kind of..greenish.
plus i don't like the anime thing. people wanting to look like dolls scare the shit out of me.
I think it is just plain mean to say things like that. She has never said her habits were healthy. And so what if she is a cutter? Does that make her matter less? Just because you don't like her interests, it doesn't give you the right to tear her down. She is obviously sick from a mental disorder. Would you go up to a schizophrenic and tell them their skin is green and poke fun at them? How could anyone WANT to be dying of an ED? There are girls on this very forum suffering beyond compare and you think they want it that way?


Sometimes she is a little less careful and talks about how tired/lonely she is. I think she is slowly dying and if she wants to wear costumes from her favorite anime cartoons and enjoy her time on tumblr, let her be.

Before pictures:
 
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seafolly

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Going back through her tumblr a year or two, she looked a lot better to me. She was still really skinny, but she looked more alive and not sickly. It makes me really sad that no one's intervened, but I mean I bet they've tried... I just want to see her get well and look more lively again :(
 

Elisa

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I think it is just plain mean to say things like that. She has never said her habits were healthy. And so what if she is a cutter? Does that make her matter less? Just because you don't like her interests, it doesn't give you the right to tear her down. She is obviously sick from a mental disorder. Would you go up to a schizophrenic and tell them their skin is green and poke fun at them? How could anyone WANT to be dying of an ED? There are girls on this very forum suffering beyond compare and you think they want it that way?
alright @Apple, now you crossed a line. you don't need to like me but stop interpreting things i say and twist my words all the time! you don't know a shit about me! if you had taken the time and read some of my post about my own life and my ED you would never say things like this! i am a suffering member myself and as far as you don't have a clue with whom around here i am in contact to get help and help them, STOP SAYING I DON'T CARE!
back to topic:
i have a problem with people who are clearly ill glorifying their problems through pictures and comments on the internet fishing for attention. i hate it that other girls follow blogs like this, don't see that the person has severe problems and want to look like her. i hate it that other girls who are on the edge themselves or sick already, visit triggering websites like this, or like felice's or a 1000 other similar sites b/c they are in a bad place and feel drawn to all this. and why do i think that? b/c it doesn't help them, on the contrary, it's bad. it's very bad. i have a problem with people making gruesome pictures of their emaciated bodies, choosing certain angles to make them look even thinner and sicker. it's disgusting.

..and for the record: if that girl is truly schizophrenic, i feel very sorry for her. i have friends who suffer from schizophrenia and i know what that means in real life.
but still, this would be one more reason for me to say she shouldn't be on the internet showing herself like this.
 
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Helen

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Some comments on this tread are driving me mad, please don't only see ED/any type of mental disorder when you are looking at her- or anyone who is suffering from it. It's painfully gear. There is someone underneath, it does matter.
Just saying (not ranting or anything, but this is important to me; say I'm a moron if you want to)

Plus @amincer and @Apple are right, she isn't in denial and doesn't want to trigger anyone (so no need to compare her to FF)
Going back through her tumblr a year or two, she looked a lot better to me. She was still really skinny, but she looked more alive and not sickly. It makes me really sad that no one's intervened, but I mean I bet they've tried... I just want to see her get well and look more lively again :(

Because it would have stop something? I don't think so, but I may be fooling myself.
 
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Elisa

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sorry to be judgemental, but imo there is no way this girl is healthy. she looks really ill. and she knows it. and she wants it that way.
EDIT to my last post:

@Apple, by saying "she wants it that way" i was referring to her looks, not her illness.
 
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Dakota

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but still, this would be one more reason for me to say she shouldn't be on the internet showing herself like this.
I know I'm new here and I really don't want to start off my membership by getting involved in drama and I don't mean to attack you but I feel like you're wrong here.

The social stigma that comes with mental illness is huge. Many sufferers spend years in hiding, friends turn away, people judge. To me, you're implying that this is right - we should be hiding, we should not show ourselves, we should act like everything's perfectly fine for the sake of others, no matter how we feel about it. Fuck that. For some of us, the internet is the only outlet we have left because we turned everyone else away. If writing a blog helps Michelle in coping with her struggles, let her. If you* are triggered by her pictures or her writings, don't look at them, don't read them, don't pay her any attention. You're responsible for yourself. If you feel like shit looking at her pictures, ask yourself why and work on learning to handle your triggers. I've never seen Michelle say, "Hey, what I do is great, my life rocks, I'm the happiest person on Earth." In fact, quite the contrary. However, I constantly see her giving advice and trying to cheer people up. If that's a bad thing to you ... well. *shrugs*

Sorry, just my 2¢ on this.

(* every "you" after the asterisk is meant to be a general "you" - not you, Elisa, specifically.)
 
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Elisa

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I know I'm new here and I really don't want to start off my membership by getting involved in drama and I don't mean to attack you but I feel like you're wrong here.

The social stigma that comes with mental illness is huge. Many sufferers spend years in hiding, friends turn away, people judge. To me, you're implying that this is right - we should be hiding, we should not show ourselves, we should act like everything's perfectly fine for the sake of others, no matter how we feel about it.
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! idk how you come to think this, i never said anything about hiding. e.g. in the thread about Felice there was a discussion about her showing her cutting scars and i made it totally clear, that i am convinced people should not hide themselves, or their scars. i think it's absolutely brave to go sleeveless and be open about it- if the person feels ok with it. but i have a problem if poeple, like Felice, show them in order to get attention or pitty.
i don't think at all people with mental illnesses should back of from society, friends or even the internet!
i have a problem with the WAY that girl or others are showing themselves in pictures e.g.. of course that kind of behaviour is sometimes part of their illness, but still it bothers me.

Fuck that. For some of us, the internet is the only outlet we have left because we turned everyone else away. If writing a blog helps Michelle in coping with her struggles, let her. If you* are triggered by her pictures or her writings, don't look at them, don't read them, don't pay her any attention. You're responsible for yourself. If you feel like shit looking at her pictures, ask yourself why and work on learning to handle your triggers.
i don't follow her, but this thread here was made to talk about her appearance and her blog so i looked it up and commended as requested. btw reading her blog i did not find any comments from her about having an ED, so it was not clear to me if she is in denial, or is "just" super thin but not suffering from an ED or whatever. all i saw was a girl who is showing herself exageratedly sick looking to the world on purpose.
 
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Mementomoria

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I applaud her honesty and I wish her the best. I hope she finds her tumblr cathartic- it does seem to offer her at least some release. I can only begin to imagine what this girl is going through.

On a larger note, while I wouldn't classify her as thinspo, I do understand that there are multiple perspectives about such complex constructs as skinny and healthy, and I appreciate Shmegeh sharing her point of view. Unfortunately, suffering is a big part of both "skinny" and "healthy" for some. While I do agree that the skinny = healthy = successful model is the one that deserves to be propagated (and the one that, for the most part, this community endorses) I don't think it's appropriate to neglect other perspectives. The tendency of society to embrace a single model of "skinny" and "healthy" is, after all, what got us to the point where we have to talk about our weight loss and wellness in a members only forum.

I think responsible skinnies need to know that this perspective exists.
 
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Dakota

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ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! idk how you come to think this, i never said anything about hiding.
Well, you said "she shouldn't be on the internet showing herself like this." I apologize if I misinterpreted your words, now that you've explained what you meant I see and understand your point.

btw reading her blog i did not find any comments from her about having an ED, so it was not clear to me if she is in denial, or is "just" super thin but not suffering from an ED or whatever.
I think she's definitely aware of the fact that she's sick. She never said it outright, however, I saw someone asking her if she was healthy and she replied something along the lines of, "Do you think I look like I'm healthy?"

Again, sorry - I didn't mean to attack you.
 

Apple

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alright @Apple, now you crossed a line. you don't need to like me but stop interpreting things i say and twist my words all the time! you don't know a shit about me! if you had taken the time and read some of my post about my own life and my ED you would never say things like this! i am a suffering member myself and as far as you don't have a clue with whom around here i am in contact to get help and help them, STOP SAYING I DON'T CARE!
I am sorry you have an ED. But if you do, why are you judging other girls in a similar situation? I would think you would have more empathy for them, not less. Just because she does not handle it in the same way you do, it does not make her in the wrong and you in the right.

back to topic:
i have a problem with people who are clearly ill glorifying their problems through pictures and comments on the internet fishing for attention. i hate it that other girls follow blogs like this, don't see that the person has severe problems and want to look like her. i hate it that other girls who are on the edge themselves or sick already, visit triggering websites like this, or like felice's or a 1000 other similar sites b/c they are in a bad place and feel drawn to all this. and why do i think that? b/c it doesn't help them, on the contrary, it's bad. it's very bad. i have a problem with people making gruesome pictures of their emaciated bodies, choosing certain angles to make them look even thinner and sicker. it's disgusting.
It is not her job to avoid posting pictures of herself and avoid the internet because it may be triggering to someone. In that case, no one should post pictures of alcohol on the internet so an alcoholic can be triggered. It is beyond obvious that she is sick; any girl who visits her site knows that. If she chooses to continue to visit her website, or someone like Felice's, she is making her own personal choice. It is your opinion that her pictures are gruesome, but other people find comfort in her and enjoy her presence. Again, if you don't like it, stay away. And I suppose it is your right to say things like she looks greenish or she wants it that way or that someone is a dumb bitch, I just thought the members of this website were above such petty comments.

..and for the record: if that girl is truly schizophrenic, i feel very sorry for her. i have friends who suffer from schizophrenia and i know what that means in real life.
but still, this would be one more reason for me to say she shouldn't be on the internet showing herself like this.
And she is NOT schizophrenic just to clear that up. All I was trying to say was that you wouldn't go up to any person with a mental disorder and poke fun at their appearence, so why would you one with an eating disorder. Please no one start a shmegeh schizophrenic rumor.
 
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maell

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i don't follow her, but this thread here was made to talk about her appearance and her blog so i looked it up and commended as requested. btw reading her blog i did not find any comments from her about having an ED, so it was not clear to me if she is in denial, or is "just" super thin but not suffering from an ED or whatever. all i saw was a girl who is showing herself exageratedly sick looking to the world on purpose.
That's just it - she has a blog completely unrelated to her illness. She doesn't have to voice her problems in every other post.
If she want to post pictures of herself in cosplay - she can and she should. Of course sometimes it shows she's sick, but that doesn't mean she should stop running a blog.
And she avoids talking about it partially because she doesn't want to trigger anybody with her eating habits and so on. If anyone looks at her pictures to find "inspiration" or whatever - it's their problem. I enjoy her blog and actually I find it quite helpful, in terms of dealing with illness in everyday life.
 
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seafolly

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Because it would have stop something? I don't think so, but I may be fooling myself.
I mean not necessarily--I can only imagine how difficult it must be--but I feel like having more support or someone who can help her *may* turn things around. Obviously I don't know her situation or anything or if there are people who are that for her, but I don't believe she's a lost cause and should just be left to get sicker and sicker, even if it's what she wants.

I bet she worries sometimes, and maybe it is what she wants, but deep down I believe there's a part of her that wants to get better, too.
 
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I know I'm new here and I really don't want to start off my membership by getting involved in drama and I don't mean to attack you but I feel like you're wrong here.

The social stigma that comes with mental illness is huge. Many sufferers spend years in hiding, friends turn away, people judge. To me, you're implying that this is right - we should be hiding, we should not show ourselves, we should act like everything's perfectly fine for the sake of others, no matter how we feel about it. Fuck that. For some of us, the internet is the only outlet we have left because we turned everyone else away. If writing a blog helps Michelle in coping with her struggles, let her. If you* are triggered by her pictures or her writings, don't look at them, don't read them, don't pay her any attention. You're responsible for yourself. If you feel like shit looking at her pictures, ask yourself why and work on learning to handle your triggers. I've never seen Michelle say, "Hey, what I do is great, my life rocks, I'm the happiest person on Earth." In fact, quite the contrary. However, I constantly see her giving advice and trying to cheer people up. If that's a bad thing to you ... well. *shrugs*

Sorry, just my 2¢ on this.

(* every "you" after the asterisk is meant to be a general "you" - not you, Elisa, specifically.)
Really well put.

I'm kind of sorry I started this thread, I never meant it as thinspo or anything to be clear. I found it originally because of the models. I should have done my research more throughly. Also, her response to weight questions was quite mature.

In truth, I feel nothing but sympathy and love for her if she is suffering so much.
 

Helen

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I mean not necessarily--I can only imagine how difficult it must be--but I feel like having more support or someone who can help her *may* turn things around. Obviously I don't know her situation or anything or if there are people who are that for her, but I don't believe she's a lost cause and should just be left to get sicker and sicker, even if it's what she wants.

I bet she worries sometimes, and maybe it is what she wants, but deep down I believe there's a part of her that wants to get better, too.
I get your point, feeling support from people is hightly important, even if it has a limited impact when there is still two part of you that are fighting together (as you said in your last lignes).

I'm kind of sorry I started this thread, I never meant it as thinspo or anything to be clear. I found it originally because of the models. I should have done my research more throughly. Also, her response to weight questions was quite mature.

In truth, I feel nothing but sympathy and love for her if she is suffering so much.
Please don't feel sorry for this, girl... Everyone has its own feeling and somehow, I find this thread interessant because there are different, argued positions on importants subjects for many of us.
 
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Dakota

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Really well put.

I'm kind of sorry I started this thread, I never meant it as thinspo or anything to be clear. I found it originally because of the models. I should have done my research more throughly. Also, her response to weight questions was quite mature.

In truth, I feel nothing but sympathy and love for her if she is suffering so much.
Thank you. :kiss:

I don't think you're to blame for the development of this thread. Just as Michelle ultimately can't really control people's reactions towards her pictures, you can't control our reactions towards you bringing her up here, so don't feel bad about it.
 

blissrelease

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I'm so glad I found a thread about Michelle because I was curious about what the sg community would think. Michelle indirectly admits she has an eating disorder (something which is very apparent just by looking at her), but I think she is definitely an interesting person and I follow her myself. She posts a lot of good modelling photos, but more than that, she has such a complex mind and is actually very intelligent. She has a different aesthetic to most people: she likes the pale skinned, dark under eyed, early myspace days look, and that's her thing. I just really hope she has the support she needs.
 
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