Emily Ratajkowski

Tinyportia

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if a friend of mine would tell me that she got fingered and didn’t want to, I wouldn’t discuss it.
Neither would I. But emrata is a public figure who wrote an essay about her experience and had it published in an online magazine for the entire world to read. Not only does she expect people to discuss it, she wants people to discuss it (albeit she wants people to discuss how horrible Leder is).


So many girls find themselves in situations, even having sex with their boyfriend, that they feel pressured to or feel forced. I’ve been feeling so myself.
Of course. I don’t think anyone here is saying she didn’t feel forced or pressured. But Leder didn’t know that until she pushed him away. Regardless, I’m not sure what your point is here. Yes, girls sometimes feel pressured to have sex with their boyfriends. And that makes the boyfriends guilty of what, exactly?
 
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marieebo

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Neither would I. But emrata is a public figure who wrote an essay about her experience and had it published in an online magazine for the entire world to read. Not only does she expect people to discuss it, she wants people to discuss it (albeit she wants people to discuss how horrible Leder is).




Of course. I don’t think anyone here is saying she didn’t feel forced or pressured. But Leder didn’t know that until she pushed him away. Regardless, I’m not sure what your point is here. Yes, girls sometimes feel pressured to have sex with their boyfriends. And that makes the boyfriends guilty of what, exactly?
Of not being able to recognize when a woman is clearly uncomfortable? Or better, not giving a fuck about that.
My point is: wherever or not her action might have been ambiguous, that didn’t mean that she wanted any kind of sexual interactions with him. And this is why she pushed him away, she clearly was in a vulnerable position. Also any man (or person in general) who get handsy with someone who is clearly drunk/or purposely get someone to drink to make a sexual move is a disgusting human being.
 
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marieebo

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I don’t know her, neither do I care about her public persona or career, I just find it ridiculous to discuss if she ‘wanted’ it or ‘asked’ for it, she got in a uncomfortable position and looking at how she writes, she clearly got trauma because of it so I am not sure what we are talking about here?
 
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longlegz

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My point is: wherever or not her action might have been ambiguous, that didn’t mean that she wanted any kind of sexual interactions with him.
Well, someone should explain then to Rat that she shouldn't cuddle while naked/semi-naked with guys in the dark. I mean, I for sure wouldn't cuddle half-naked in the dark with someone I had no romantic/sexual plans with.
Imagine the reverse situation, someone flirts with you, cuddles you while barely having clothes on and lights being off, kisses you probably and later goes cold & rejects. You'd be confused for sure.
 
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FashionThin

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Of not being able to recognize when a woman is clearly uncomfortable?
Or maybe instead of expecting men to read our minds, and then blaming them when they can't, we should actually speak up for ourselves?

Also any man (or person in general) who get handsy with someone who is clearly drunk/or purposely get someone to drink to make a sexual move is a disgusting human being.
"Get someone to drink"? :eyeroll: Did he force her to drink or did she make her own decisions?

I hate this entire way of thinking because it pretends to be sticking up for women but it actually takes so much power away from us. Because the whole overarching idea of it is that we are mentally weak compared to men.
 
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elle_w00ds

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Imagine the reverse situation, someone flirts with you, cuddles you while barely having clothes on and lights being off, kisses you probably and later goes cold & rejects.
And then a decade later they publish an exposé in a big magazine trying to frame you as the predator. Because the feminism that according to its avatars on SGF is just *so* inclusive and kumbaya-ish and genuinely trying to make everything better for just errryone so we can be one big, happy family loves to shuffle all guilt onto men so women can externalise their moral failures for psychological ease.
 
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oceah

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You would take assault to court before the papers right? I've been assaulted by multiple people and I struggle to tell my psychologist and people closest to me, let alone tabloids. I think there's a case for normalising reporting sexual abuse and going to court, but I don't think this publicity first approach is the most appropriate. Surely if it was in court it would be publicised anyways but in a more objective manner that is better for all victims?
 
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elle_w00ds

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I think there's a case for normalising reporting sexual abuse
FWIW what would *actually* have a positive effect on sexual abuse statistics is a more restrictive sexual ethic. The more permissive the society, the more likely one feels pressured into sexual relations one doesn't want to enter.

I sincerely think premarital sex is bad for women, both psychologically and politically. The fact that feminists are the ones who pushed the sexual revolution in the first place is just one of the many ways in which the movement has actively worked to create its own problems.
 
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FashionThin

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FWIW what would *actually* have a positive effect on sexual abuse statistics is a more restrictive sexual ethic. The more permissive the society, the more likely one feels pressured into sexual relations one doesn't want to enter.

I sincerely think premarital sex is bad for women, both psychologically and politically.
Oh no this is the station where I have to get off the @elle_w00ds train. Loved the ride though! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
 
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eliza88

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FWIW what would *actually* have a positive effect on sexual abuse statistics is a more restrictive sexual ethic. The more permissive the society, the more likely one feels pressured into sexual relations one doesn't want to enter.

I sincerely think premarital sex is bad for women, both psychologically and politically. The fact that feminists are the ones who pushed the sexual revolution in the first place is just one of the many ways in which the movement has actively worked to create its own problems.

I agree that oversexualization in society has a negative impact on female youth especially very impressionable teens. The way women are portrayed in modern media could be one of the reasons why teens and young adults develop self-image problems.

However, I don’t agree that “premarital sex is bad for women psychologically and politically” and such absolutist way of thinking is on the other side of the rigid spectrum of sexual oppression that calls for another host of problems such as guilt and shame associated with sexuality to meet constraints of society.

Society and liberal outlooks on sexuality is moving forward and I do think both extreme sides of the spectrum (sexual repression VS sexual liberation) are too extreme in either case. A balance would be the best approach, but I think there is a bigger and bigger gap between nations with a liberal sexual outlooks vs nations who are still very rigid and traditional.
 
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Tinyportia

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I agree that oversexualization in society has a negative impact on female youth especially very impressionable teens. The way women are portrayed in modern media could be one of the reasons why teens and young adults develop self-image problems.
Sure, but I think what @elle_w00ds meant was that in sexually liberalised societies, women are more likely to find themselves in sexualised situations, therefore increasing the likelihood of feeling pressured into having sex. So, what happened to emrata probably wouldn’t have happened in a less sexually liberalised society because they never would’ve ended up alone together drinking wine and snuggling under a blanket. At least, that was my interpretation?


The fact that feminists are the ones who pushed the sexual revolution in the first place is just one of the many ways in which the movement has actively worked to create its own problems
How so? Is it because you think the sexual revolution has in fact lead to a hyper sexualised society and therefore enhanced women’s status as sex objects? So now, not only do men assume that all women want sex all the time, men feel entitled to sex with women all the time? Apologies if I’ve completely misunderstood or misinterpreted your point!
 
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elle_w00ds

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Sure, but I think what @elle_w00ds meant was that in sexually liberalised societies, women are more likely to find themselves in sexualised situations, therefore increasing the likelihood of feeling pressured into having sex. So, what happened to emrata probably wouldn’t have happened in a less sexually liberalised society because they never would’ve ended up alone together drinking wine and snuggling under a blanket. At least, that was my interpretation?
It's more nuanced than that even, it has to do with how the semantics of the situation is established. Maybe I'll post about it later, but it will have to be a lengthy one, and tbh I'm not overwhelmingly impressed with the general ability to break away from the bigotry du jour, so I'm not sure there's much point in doing so.

Oh no this is the station where I have to get off the @elle_w00ds train. Loved the ride though! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
And here I was expecting a return to chastity belts to be adopted as the site's official stance :lol: :luvluv:

(I was drunk when I typed the above* and if I were to rephrase it, I'd say that the sexual revolution, not premarital sex, has largely been bad for women's mental health and political interests. Still don't think that's something that will enjoy widespread agreement though.)

* If anyone wonders how that fits into my fast my explanation is 'unexpected guests' and 'let's call it grape juice'
 
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eliza88

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Sure, but I think what @elle_w00ds meant was that in sexually liberalised societies, women are more likely to find themselves in sexualised situations, therefore increasing the likelihood of feeling pressured into having sex. So, what happened to emrata probably wouldn’t have happened in a less sexually liberalised society because they never would’ve ended up alone together drinking wine and snuggling under a blanket. At least, that was my interpretation?
I don’t think a sexually liberalized society is an excuse for people who find themselves in these situations. This is the same as saying that a drug rampant and morally decrepit society is the reason why people find themselves taking drugs and indulging in corrupt and amoral actions. Also basically saying the reason why there are so many obese people is because we are surrounded by fast food. Yes, this is true, but she chose to make those particular decisions at that particular time. Emrata takes complete blame for whatever situation she found herself in. I am by no means condoning victim blaming, but unless she is ten years old and so naïve with zero street smarts, anyone would know better than to go up to a guy’s apartment or hotel room and have a “wine night cap” and not expect it to mean something else.

I don’t really agree that “what happened to emrata would not have happened in a less sexualized society because they would have never ended up drinking wine and snuggling under a blanket”. If anything, living in such a liberal day and age should allow women to feel much more empowered to do as they please and not fall prey to men and their patriarchal ways.

You find yourself in that situation and nobody put a gun to your head… there is some reevaluating to do.
 
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FlatWhite

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Yea...Going downhill pretty fucking fast (pic 5). But it’s fine everyone! Now she’s got a traumatic story to back up her weight gain, just like Romee!


 

thinemesis

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FWIW what would *actually* have a positive effect on sexual abuse statistics is a more restrictive sexual ethic. The more permissive the society, the more likely one feels pressured into sexual relations one doesn't want to enter.

I sincerely think premarital sex is bad for women, both psychologically and politically. The fact that feminists are the ones who pushed the sexual revolution in the first place is just one of the many ways in which the movement has actively worked to create its own problems.
If a society is truly permissive of sexual freedom, wouldn't it mean that it would also be permissive of denial of participation of the same? I think so (ie if you want to = do = if not=don't -> both equally valued)
 

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FC6B8CCD-192B-4F94-8455-179AEC3204DD.jpeg
zendaya and slimmer kim kardashian? wearing same outfit.

Ps. I didn’t post in runway vs reality cus non of them were runway but I just wanted you to see difference
 
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