Emily Ratajkowski

elle_w00ds

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It wasn't sexual assault, and since she says in the article that the dynamic wasn't one of 'desperate model doing whatever it takes to work with star tog' she can't even claim the 'b-b-b-but power imbalance!!!!' card.
 
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Tinyportia

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It wasn't sexual assault, and since she says in the article that the dynamic wasn't one of 'desperate model doing whatever it takes to work with star tog' she can't even claim the 'b-b-b-but power imbalance!!!!' card.
Ah yes you’re right. I take back the part where I said “Whilst I agree he may have taken advantage of her...”.
 
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elle_w00ds

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Girls I don’t think sexual assault is an opinion
What does this mean? That Emily's calling it sexual assault automatically makes it so? Damn, humankind hasn't had this kind of linguistic power since God made Adam name the animals.
 
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bougainvilleas

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I mentioned earlier that she never uses the word "assault" in the piece but tabloid-echelon outlets are labeling it such -- it feels like she very much intended her story to be interpreted as sexual assault, but NY Mag prob discouraged her from explicitly saying that because it'd put them in a different realm of liability. As an example: A lot of publications, including my own, were advised by legal teams in June that "police killing of George Floyd" was ok language but "murder of George Floyd" was a defamation risk because the police officers hadn't yet been convicted of murder. Similarly, it’s legally iffy to allege assault but slightly more passable for a person to describe in an essay “he put his fingers in me and I didn’t want him to.”

But for an essay to be printed with such a targeted M.O. -- this is an individual's takedown of another individual, not an ~*exploration of self-image*~ no matter how hard it pretends -- is also sloppy, imo, and I'm disappointed in NY Mag for indulging it. A better route would've been to approach her accusations against the photographer as a reported, fact-checked piece or seek multiple POVs (e.g. their Bill Cosby feature with 35 women). But of course that'd diminish the shock/thrill/attention factor of a porn star ceLEbRiTy mODeL writing a sprawling one-dimensional arraignment in their pages.
 
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art hoe

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OMG I eyerolled so hard. I started scrolling thru it and one of the first sentences I read
''The wild-looking flowers substitute for my head, as if the arrangement had grown skinny legs''

:nervous: Cringe. Imma have to disagree with that

Her: “skinny legs”

The legs in question:

14E10759-C2F2-469F-AD74-9287E482735D.jpeg
 
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Plume

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Maybe I'm just getting old and I'm not woke enough, but I've never actually given someone permission to finger me.

Him/Her: "May I put my finger(s) inside you?"

Me: "idk how many?"

Him/Her: "idk one, maybe two? not three though"

Me: "Why certainly. Yes you may."

omg so hot
I can’t believe you girls in here sometime. Seriously? We ALL know what she meant by “not giving permission”. You obviously don’t literally give permission to a guy to do anything sexual to you, but for it to be called consent, there has to be a certain type of situation where the two people are obviously attracted to each other and the woman’s body language suggests that she wants him and everything, which I’m sure wasn’t the case with Emily, whether she was drunk or not. So we’re doing victim blaming now and everyone is throwing the agree button just because it’s FT, and Emily isn’t skinny? You girls are better than that.
 
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elle_w00ds

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the woman’s body language suggests that she wants him and everything
Cuddling up under a blanket to make out doesn't count?

I'm actually sorry that Emily had a bad experience but I'm very, very tired of the brand of stunted logic you propose as a ready-made solution for assigning blame. Spoiler alert: it's the man's fault.

Edit: Oh, and I've never reacted to any of FT's posts 'just because' she's a mod. When I do it, it's because she's often very witty. Not all of us have elevated ad hominem to the only available hermeneutic.
 
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Tinyportia

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I can’t believe you girls in here sometime. Seriously? We ALL know what she meant by “not giving permission”. You obviously don’t literally give permission to a guy to do anything sexual to you, but for it to be called consent, there has to be a certain type of situation where the two people are obviously attracted to each other and the woman’s body language suggests that she wants him and everything, which I’m sure wasn’t the case with Emily, whether she was drunk or not. So we’re doing victim blaming now and everyone is throwing the agree button just because it’s FT, and Emily isn’t skinny? You girls are better than that.
Have you read the article? Everything about emrata’s body language seemed to suggest she was into him. Noone here is victim blaming, just pointing out that this was merely a case of “girl flirts with guy, guy thinks girl is interested, guy comes onto girl, guy stops immediately once she tells him to stop”...
 
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Plume

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None of us was there to know what really happened and why she classified it as sexual assault, therefore none of us should make this type of decredibilizing comments about her misadventure, lots of people think that women call out their rapists just for attention or something, and that sucks
 
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elle_w00ds

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None of us was there to know what really happened and why she classified it as sexual assault, therefore none of us should make this type of decredibilizing comments about her misadventure, lots of people think that women call out their rapists just for attention or something, and that sucks
So not only did you not read the article, you also didn't read @bougainvilleas comment just a little above where she reiterates that Emily in fact has not classified it 'sexual assault'.

And women *do* in fact lie about rape, or try to awkwardly fit the signifier around any sexual encounter that wasn't 100% successful. Not only do that kind of linguistic abuse ruin the lives of men who are wrongly pegged as violent and abusive, it also undermines the experiences of women who in fact *have* suffered assault.
 
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FashionThin

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None of us was there to know what really happened and why she classified it as sexual assault, therefore none of us should make this type of decredibilizing comments about her misadventure
Weird, you seemed totally fine with cosigning her side of the story even though you weren't there:

which I’m sure wasn’t the case with Emily
Or is it only OK to "decredibilize" the man?
 
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Plume

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Or is it only OK to "decredibilize" the man?
Yes because in most cases women wouldn’t lie about that. I believe her, he was being predatory and took advantage of her. And you would have believed the woman too if it was Vlada or Anna S. who talked about this right?
 
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FashionThin

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Yes because in most cases women wouldn’t lie about that. I believe her, he was being predatory and took advantage of her. And you would have believed the woman too if it was Vlada or Anna S. who talked about this right?
If Vlada, wearing lingerie, had a few drinks with a photog after a shoot, flirted with him for hours, cuddled under a blanket with him, rubbed her body all over his body, made out with him, and then he finally made an actual sexual "move" on her, and she pushed him away and he immediately left, I would say, "Vlada I fucking love you but.. duh."
 
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Tinyportia

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Yes because in most cases women wouldn’t lie about that. I believe her, he was being predatory and took advantage of her. And you would have believed the woman too if it was Vlada or Anna S. who talked about this right?
I believe her too. I believe her when she said they sat and cuddled together under a blanket, I believe her when she said she rubbed her feet against him, I believe her when she said he put her fingers inside her, I believe her when she said she pushed him away, I believe her when she said he got up and left and didn’t try it again. I don’t AGREE that what he did was disgusting.
 
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FashionThin

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I believe her too. I believe her when she said they sat and cuddled together under a blanket, I believe her when she said she rubbed her feet against him, I believe her when she said he put her fingers inside her, I believe her when she said she pushed him away, I believe her when she said he got up and left and didn’t try it again. I don’t AGREE that what he did was disgusting.
Same. But I don't believe her that she "can't remember" if they kissed. They obviously did, or she never would say that.
 
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delicateeuphoria

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Yes because in most cases women wouldn’t lie about that. I believe her, he was being predatory and took advantage of her. And you would have believed the woman too if it was Vlada or Anna S. who talked about this right?
I’ve gotta be honest, I am normally someone who says “believe the victim” but based on the article, I’m just not seeing what exactly he did that could be classified as sexual assault. He offered her the wine and she drank 3+ glasses of it by her own admission (so as far as we know, he didn’t spike it), she admits to flirting with him and trying to impress him to stand out from other models, she cuddled him naked under a blanket and initiated/continued deeply intimate conversations with him. I do think he made a mistake by going straight to fingering a drunk/tipsy woman and I think he should have addressed that, but the moment she rejected him, he didn’t try anything on her again and immediately left.

I do think that him repeatedly profiting off her body and her name while knowing that she is uncomfortable with it is immoral and a bit gross, but unless it can be proven that the agent’s signature on the release form was a forgery then he is well within his rights to do so. I also dislike his response to the critique by saying that her previous work in sensual scenarios means that she automatically shouldn’t be believed when she expressed discomfort with his use of the photos and he gives me skeevey vibes, but based on the information at hand at the moment, he is within his rights to use the photos + I don’t think that his actions classify as sexual assault. Emrata is also within her rights to feel uncomfortable but I really think if she felt that she had a real case against this guy she should have sought out other models who had bad experiences with him + more tangible evidence of sexual assault, because at the moment her account gives me the vibe that she had a regrettable sexual experience and has complicated emotions about it and is latching onto a very real movement in order to validate her negative feelings.

Sorry if the grammar/structure of this is all over the place, I wrote it on my lunch break
 
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elle_w00ds

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Same. But I don't believe her that she "can't remember" if they kissed. They obviously did, or she never would say that.
I read that as a euphemism for pleading the fifth. Nobody can be forced to testify against herself, even when she enters the witness box for social clout and ideologically opportune purposes.

Interesting how her memory becomes razor sharp again once she needs to establish that she never signed the model release though--if it weren't for my rock solid trust in women's uncompromising honesty I would suspect bad faith :rolleyes:

Add to that her opening of the article by putting a well-meaning acquaintance on blast merely to score a rhetorical point, or put in more general terms, her exploitation of an actual person as ideological fodder, I'm filing this in the 'evidence to support that Ratatatat is vile' folder.
 
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marieebo

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What does this mean? That Emily's calling it sexual assault automatically makes it so? Damn, humankind hasn't had this kind of linguistic power since God made Adam name the animals.
I am just saying as a woman, if a friend of mine would tell me that she got fingered and didn’t want to, I wouldn’t discuss it. I think consent is a sensitive topic, it’s not good to dismiss it like this. So many girls find themselves in situations, even having sex with their boyfriend, that they feel pressured to or feel forced. I’ve been feeling so myself.
 
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