I have two kids (6 and 9), during pregnancy I gained some weight and then it went away. Looking good and be fit requires some discipline, I workout 3 times a week (sometimes more, sometimes less), I cook healthy food for my family, I restrict. Sometimes it's too much for me, I have better times and worse but in general I'm satisfied with myself. And a lot of my friends have similar lifestyle. So it's possible and it's ok, you just can't let yourself go.